Frailty

Today has been...okay!

Actually no, today has been an unmitigated disaster packed with the worst and most dangerous kind of drama: the kind I have no control over.

It's strange how seemingly wonderful days can turn into such bleak, depressing ones without warning. I started the catching up with Charles Ryder and conversation with him was as delightful as the biscotti I was devouring. Yes, that is what I do for breakfast: a small special blend and an almond biscotti! Today was a rare luxury, though, I was doing breakfast in my room while chatting with a friend as opposed to power walking through the snow (yes, it has been done) to Organic Chemistry at an ungodly hour! I can almost never supress the slight tinge of envy that colours my words when I speak with Charles Ryder for he gets to keep the city and I, quite simply, don't! Charles Ryder and I spoke of Proenza Schouler, hubris, and our begrudging admiration for William Rast. I was just so happy...I was just so happy as I walked to Genetics, yes I actually walked instead of the crazy half-run-half-walk thing I normally do!

The first sign that things were going to go downhill was the rather lacklustre Shakespeare class I attended. Not that it's a hoot anyway (and that is yet another story) but today was just...ugh! Then, as it happens in bad movies and classic plays, the lights went out everywhere on campus! Fool that I am, I didn't heed the portents! Like a tragic hero, I began to hurtle towards my ruin!

Now, Don Quixote has been unusually nice to me for the past few days. Frighteningly nice, but that niceness is rather sickly sweet. It's the kind of niceness that has an oily quality capable of transforming friendliness into condescension: invitations with everything paid for...to the point where he began to offer me money for trivial things like lending him a book. He began to make me feel indigent and indebted and GossipGuy is a classy individual who lacks for nothing! The fact that someone could view me as a charity case is disconcerting! Today, Don Quixote piled largesse upon largesse to the point where I just snapped! There I was, a ball of stress bristling and crackling as Hamlet and Don Quixote watched in concern and odd amusement, I think. Oh who knows!

I returned to my dorm and decided to speak to the RA about my predicament. By this time, I had leaped over my psychological threshold like a hare in a hurry and my alter-ego (NeuroticBoy) jumped through the looking glass. Passive observer that I am, I saw as NeuroticBoy, torn between the desire to spew our story to RA and calm down to coherence begged Hamlet to accompany him to the RA's room. NeuroticBoy's logic flowed like this: "I need to calm down and then I can tell the RA what happened! But I can't calm down until I tell the RA"

There we were, Hamlet and I in the RA's room as I sputtered and urged Hamlet to fill in the blanks for me!
"Tell him!" urged I, arms flailing wildly!
The story was told and who told it, I don't remember. But when I returned to my room, Hamlet, who always has some insight or the other into the nature of man, piped up, "You really must speak up for yourself."





When have I not? GossipGuy is all about the blah blah blah! Condescencion and a blow to my conifidence! Ah me! The evening has become unbearable: I met my darling Punjaban for coffee but her girlish quirks and giggles prove to be jarring. I feigned a head-ache and returned to my room. I must make things right with Hamlet...But no, I shan't think of that now! I'll go crazy if I do! I shall think of it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is a new day...

Until the next time,
GossipGuy!